The Age of Unreason

The Grinder can take a blueprint or a spec and make something out of nothing - as long as it still fits into their bailiwick. The Grinder is called so because he is given a problem and has to grind it out, using the tools, techniques, and materials they already know how to use. If your give a carpenter the blueprints for a dog house, he will grind it out with two-by-fours and plywood. If you give a mason the same blueprints, you will get a brick and mortar version. It won’t matter whether or not it is the best material or approach, but it will get done. Grinders don’t ask too many questions, but they have lots of answers. So, whether or not your Grinder is any good depends on whether or not you choose the right one to work on your project.

The software Grinder not only know his programming language, but also the ins and outs of their dev tools.

Grinders can build the lego kit without instruction simply by looking at the box. Grinders trim a good tree, but still can’t see the forest. Grinders can follow any recipe in the cookbook.

The configurator spends their day assembling the pieces and parts of their technology and making decisions about how they fit together. In the software world, the Configurator might be at home in the system console selecting radio buttons and drop down menus. The obnoxious punk down the street configures his 1998 Dodge Neon with parts found in the back pages of Street Rodder magazine.

Unlike the Reguritator, the Configurator has to make decisions. The combinations of choices have different net effects, unintended consequences, and sometimes chaos. But even though the Configurator actually has to think, his outcomes are limited, and thus, so is his comfort zone.

Favorite toy: Basic Legos.

Favorite food: Any combination of food from the value menu.

This type of techie is the walking reference guide of their technology. He silences crowds by being able to quote release notes from the Japanese version of a firmware release of a discontinued product (mostly because nobody cares). He revels in arguments of fact as in "everybody knows that Initech's tri-nucleus converter board won't amplify a 3rd order Ipshitz filter when the downconverter is in a 2 phase condition. Idiot!".

Unfortunately, the only tasks this person can perfrom include either learning more facts or answering specific questions they are asked. Your brother-in-law, the self-proclaimed audiophile, is a perfect example of The Reguritator. You hate to tell him about the new HDTV you bought because you know you will be berated on some obsucre factoid you overlooked.

The Reguritator's favorite toy: Lego Duplo blocks, paint by number kits.

Favorite food: Whatever mommy is making that day.

Here are my Top 10 Worst Netflix Rentals of 2005. I am stupider for having watched them:

10. Meet the Fockers
9. Bewitched
8. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
7. Be Cool
6. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
5. The Battle of Shaker Heights
4. Tenebre
3. Cecil B. Demented
2. I Heart Huckabees
1. Land of the Dead

If you enjoyed any of the above movies, I feel sorry for you. If you are a friend of mine, I am embarrassed. Please don’t tell me that you watched any of these.

Here are my Top 10 Best Netflix Rentals of 2005:

10. A Very Long Engagement
9. Audition
8. The Upside of Anger
7. Bottle Rocket
6. Lost Highway
5. Sex and Lucia
4. The Aviator
3. Kung Fu Hustle
2. Primer
1. Sideways

Of course, I highly recommend these to (almost) anyone. Audition is a tough one to watch and you will have to watch Primer at least twice to follow it.

Others that came close (and you should also watch): Batman Begins, Star Wars Animated Adventures, Sidewalks of New York, The Straight Story, Owning Mahowny, Danny Deckchair, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, The Third Man    

Bouncing off of an idea in Esquire, I’m starting to compile things that sounded like a great idea at the time...

• Homemade crafts as Christmas gifts


• The ambiance of a greasy spoon restaurant


• Having one more kid so you can have a boy/girl in the family


• Midnight showings of cult films


• Owning your favorite old TV shows on DVD


• Looking up an old girlfriend


• Impressing someone with your drinking skills


• Waiting outside the box office all night for concert tickets


• Getting to the front of a general admission concert


• Truly authentic Chinese food

    

SUMMARY

In this “fast paced” society we live in, we are pushed harder than ever to get it all done in less time and with less money. Or are we?

A recent study of the habits of Midwesterners (commissioned and conducted be me) reveals that people are actually three times lazier than they are in a hurry.

METHODOLOGY

In my travels throughout the Midwest, I often save time by stopping at McDonalds for a couple of breakfast burritos on the way to my clients’ offices. The line of cars is often quite long and I end up parking and walking into the counter to get faster service. I wondered why people insist on waiting in the long drive through line instead of going inside like I do and getting back on the road more quickly.

In nine visits I counted the number of cars in the line and the number of people waiting in line at the counter and placing a to-go order, including myself. In all cases I was able to leave before the last car in line when I arrived, proving that those who go inside leave more quickly than those in the drive through. Factoring in an assumption that 20% of the people in the drive through are simply ignore the idea of going inside, my conclusion is that those going on inside are actually in a hurry and those waiting in line are simply lazy by a factor of 3.04 to 1.

DATA

Day Cars Ignorance Adjustment Counter Lazy/Hurry
1 6 4.8 3 1.6
2 7 5.6 2 2.8
3 5 4 4 1
4 8 6.4 2 3.2
5 5 4 1 4
6 7 5.6 2 2.8
7 6 4.8 1 4.8
8 4 3.2 2 1.6
9 7 5.6 1 5.6
3.04